Dear Limey assholes

Last week The Guardian launched a program aimed at pairing their UK readers up with voters in Clark County Ohio in an effort to afford their constituents some sense of taking part in the U.S. election. The program is called Operation Clark County and in my opinion it represents one of the coolest things about our newly inter(net)connected world. Here is a snip of their mission statement:

The result of the American election in less than three weeks could have huge consequences for the whole world. Yet those of us outside the 50 states have had no say in it. Until now, that is.

In the spirit of the Declaration of Independence’s pledge to show “a decent respect to the opinions of mankind”, we have come up with a unique way for non-Americans to express your views on the policies and candidates in this election to some of the people best placed to decide its outcome. It’s not quite a vote, but it’s a chance to influence how a very important vote will be cast. Or, at the very least, make a new penpal.

I held no reasonable expectation that this effort would produce significant results since it is clear to me that those American’s who respect world opinion are already voting for change in November. On the other hand, what I did not expect was what I found this morning. It is clear that some people need to get a grip or at least have their internet access taken away for a few days while they rethink the senselessness of their responses. Here is a taste.

Have you not noticed that Americans don’t give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies … I don’t give a rat’s ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don’t. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah – and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.

Wading River, NY

KEEP YOUR FUCKIN’ LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN’T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT’S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON’T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS … TOUGH SHIT!

PROUD AMERICAN VOTING FOR BUSH!

Real Americans aren’t interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it.

Texas, USA

Notice a pattern here?

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