And I’m Still Askin’ What’s Wrong With Florida?

You know, when I look down at my two daughters, the first thought to come to mind is just how beautiful they both are. They both look just like their mother, which is good because while I’m a very attractive man, I don’t think I would look all that great as a woman, so they probably lucked out. (Note: This is why I don’t post a picture of myself. I’m too attractive. The last thing I want is for my good looks to detract you people from paying attention to what’s going on)

The second thought that crosses my mind is that I want my girls to grow up in a better world. You know what I’m talking about. I want them to grow up in a world where they don’t have to worry about being socially conscious and responsible, where they are free to be utterly vapid.

In fact, I’m so adamant about this that I wish they could be BANNED from making political statements and participating in social movements. No, I want them to grow up to be the local sex symbol, ditching more thought provoking forms of music and entertainment in favor of singing songs about their, “lovely lady humps.”

And just when I thought the progressive movement was going to kill my dream forever, the public scool system of Florida comes through to save the day. Yup, a visionary Coral Springs principal had the nerve and fortitude to stand up for banality when he banned a ten-year-old girl from singing Pink’s, “Dear Mr. President,” at a school talent show.

Sir, I salute you!

When pressed as to why little Molly Shoul would not be allowed to sing the very politically charged song at school, the official response was that, “This is a fifth-grade student that wants to perform a song filled with lyrics about drug use, war, abortion, gay rights and profanity.”

So let’s disect this, shall we? Here, I’m a hard working blogger, so I spent a good solid two and a half minutes digging up the lyrics to Pink’s opus, and provide them here.

I think the profanity one is the one that gets me the most here. There is one, count em, one profane word in the whole song. It’s not even repeated, and it’s “Hell.” Yup, that most profane of words that you would never hear on the radio or on television. Hell (heh), you would never find words like that in childrens movies like Harry Potter, or Shrek. NEVER!

Even still, per the Ed Schultz show, I’ve also come to find out that Molly and her mother even offered to change the offensive word for the audience. No dice there either.

Funnily enough, the way in which it is used isn’t even in its typical profanity slangin’ connotation. Nope, it’s used in the biblical sense of the word, meaning an actual place you go to to burn for eternity.

And let’s talk about the drug use. Yes the song does have some drug abuse, that of El Presedente himself. No more no less. In fact, I’d rather my child listen to a song that DEGLAMORIZES the usage of drugs as opposed to glamorizes it. Take for instance Ludacris.

We all remember the ban that Bill O’Liely called for on Pepsi when they chose to pick up Luda as a spokesperson, right? One of the reasons for his indignance was that Luda’s songs promoted drug use. Come on Bill! Now an artist is getting dissed for speaking ill of drug use, where are ya now buddy? We need that righteous anger!

But the issue here is that here is a ten-year-old girl who is doing what I wish so many of her peers would do in taking an interest in the world around her, and voicing her opinion, and trying to do something about it, and the public school system is shutting her down.

Fascism: 1 Free Speech: 0

Well, at least I can rest easy knowing that my little girls have a chance to grow up in this dream world of mine where their opinions mean nothing. That’s so friggin’ awesome.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with Facebook