Finally Something Conservatives And I Can Agree Upon

Paris Hilton.

As it turns out, the ditzy blond heiress has been released from prison after not even spending a full week in the big house in favor of home confinement. While the official reasoning has cited medical problems, rumors abound that the medical problem is in fact that Paris the Heiress won’t eat anything (Moderate Voice deviates from this rumor saying its because she “couldn’t sleep and had become a sniveling mess.”).

I have abstained thus far from commenting on Paris because I really hoped she was a probably that would go away if I just ignored her long enough, but this just kinda does it for me. I’m done.

I can’t stand this anymore.

There is a very severe problem that the very existence of Paris Hilton poses, and the basic commuting of her prison sentence only throws this problem into stark relief. What this problem is that Paris, as an icon of sorts, presents to the public a kind of fantasy (not that kind of fantasy, get your head out of the gutters. She’s not even all that hot!).

It is a fantasy wherein consequences either don’t exist, or in this case, don’t matter, and that vapidity is lauded and rewardable. There is fruit behind the idea of throwing caution to the wind, and taking chances, and sometimes acting in spite of or without worry of consequences. There is merit to the concept of not falling lockstep with the masses, and doing your own thing. Enjoy life to the fullest, life is short. But Paris’ as an ideal, is a gross parody of these ideals that only wears a few of them as poorly constructed masks.

The fantasy is, simply put, you can do whatever the hell you want, and nothing bad will happen to you. It is a fantasy that most sane adults realize is folly, but that is not who Paris appeals to. For many of us, she is a joke, a punchline on television news, or, in fact, during any kind of appearance she makes. A strange oddity to be mocked or reviled.

But for the younger generation, for young girls, they see this and want to be this. Paris provides, at least to them, an alternative to the role models they have to look at. Mom and Dad work, drive middle class cars, and often times seem as though the best parts of life have passed them by. By comparison, Paris’ life is one long string of parties wherein she hops from one to another in flashy cars and expensive clothes.

How can we hope to compete.

But even at this, I’m not one to slam alternative and unique lifestyles as a principle. Innovators in many arenas that affect our society for generations have gone against the grain. To me, the greatest sin of Paris is that she contributes nothing. She is part of the new vogue to be willingly ignorant. She embodies cool dumbness as easily as she does irresponsibility and gets away with it time and again, and while we sadly chuckle her off and shake our heads, our daughters are learning.

And what they just learned today was that if you cry hard enough and act wronged enough, you can get out of anything, even jail.

I can’t make Paris unrich and force her to learn what life is like when you have to actually work at it. I can’t force her to actually educate herself and take an intellectual interest in the world around her. I can’t even force her to stop acting like a high dollar tramp so that the girls that will become the bright young women in the world don’t think that this is how responsible adults behave, but I can insist that when she breaks a law, SHE FACES THE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES!

If she refuses to eat, SO WHAT? Trust me, she’s either anorexic and used to not eating anyway, or she’ll get hungry enough and scarf a damn dinner roll. If she cries, SO WHAT? She’s in JAIL! It’s not supposed to be FUN! If she can’t sleep, SO WHAT? Trust me, I’ve been awake for 72 hours straight multiple times whilst serving in the Navy, on top of the fact that I’m a mild insomniac. You know something, you eventually fall asleep.

I’m tossing the bullshit flag now. Get this waste of DNA back behind bars so she can serve perhaps the only decent function she ever has, or ever will; that when you screw up, you get locked up! Otherwise, there really is no point to Paris.

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