Please Mr. President, Pick Up A Dictionary!

The current immigration reform bill is on VERY shaky ground, and has been almost from its inception. The charge, led primarily by the very elite of the wingnut blowhards, from Rush Limbaugh to Madame Malkin and her “shamnesty” campaign, was effective in temporarily sinking the bill weeks ago.

But as Senators on both sides of the aisle have fought tooth and nail to try and salvage the bill, its fate still hangs in the balance, a long arduous road still waiting for it before it ever has the hopes of being signed into law.

I personally don’t like the bill, but I don’t hate it, and I definitely believe the whole amnesty thing is being blown, like so much foul and rank hot air, out of the collective asses of those on the right who just don’t want them Messkin’s coming over here and muckin’ up our culture.

So, by proxy, I’m kinda rooting for the bill. No one will gain from it politically not on either side of the aisle, and anything that would piss off the Madame Malkins and Ann Coulters of the world gives me thrills of immense pleasure. This and making a path in this country for the millions of illegal immigrants in this country to be made legal, and even Bush’s “guest worker” program are things I see as steps in the right direction… incredibly microscopic steps in the right direction.

As a result, the last thing you need when the bill’s fate could be settled on the slightest of occurances, the last thing you want to see splashed up on your favorite news aggregator is that Bush himself has called it amnesty.

Now, Bush’s chronic foot in mouth disease is, in the words of How I Met Your Mother’s Barney, legen-wait for it-dary. From bemoaning the fate of OBGYN’s trying to “practice their love” with women across the country, to putting food on your families, the man has a very distinct ungift with words. But dammit man, pick up a dictionary!

I will, repeat myself to make things particularly clear for anyone not in the know by picking up their closest Websters:

am·nes·ty /?æmn?sti/ Pronunciation KeyShow Spelled Pronunciation[am-nuh-stee] Pronunciation KeyShow IPA Pronunciation noun, plural -ties, verb, -tied, -ty·ing.–noun

1.a general pardon for offenses, esp. political offenses, against a government, often granted before any trial or conviction.

2.Law. an act of forgiveness for past offenses, esp. to a class of persons as a whole.

3.a forgetting or overlooking of any past offense. –verb (used with object)

4.to grant amnesty to; pardon.

In other words… A $5000 FINE IS NOT AMNESTY!!!! Sure, to the likes of Madame Malkin, five grand may be chump change, but not when you came over here in an attempt to flee poverty.

Alas, I’m screaming into the wind. Malkin and her ilk will take up the banner for their ill-defined argument, and with Bush’s flub earlier, may actually win. In a bitter bid of irony, now that Democrats have control, she can’t help but deride the Majority Leader for calling detractors obstructionist despite how often she’s thrown the term around in the past when it was Dems playing the obstructing.

In any case, she needs a dictionary too, that or at least a reality check that not all of us can drop five grand without batting an eye.

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