Who The Fuck Is This Whackjob?!?!

I apologize, dear reader. Over the recent few months, I have tried my best to clean up my language, as I understand such language is often times offensive, and regularly not needed. But I must express to you the first words that came to mind when I happened upon this piece by Jon Swift.

As you undoubtedly know by now, yesterday we lost a great teacher in this country due to bone cancer. Don Herbert, the now late Mr. Wizard, not only was known for helping teach America’s young science, but before even that had fought in the second World War as a fighter pilot. By most accounts, Mr. Herbert was a fine American.

But not by Jon Swift’s account. Uh-uh. Mr. Wizard turned children “away from God,” and plagued America’s youth with actually thinking.

The piece, in its entirety, is wholely disgusting, and regressive, and I’m sorry for the invective, but it was necessary. Case in point:

As parents and their children stroll through the 60,000 sq. ft. museum, designed by a former Universal Studios exhibit director, they can see the terrible cost wrought by Mr. Wizard and other advocates of human reason: nuclear war, drug addiction, gay marriage, abortion, evolution taught in the schools, school shootings, graffiti, and carnivorous wolves. Before Eve gave Adam a bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, they lived peaceably with all of the animals, including dinosaurs. Tyrannosaurus Rexes munched contentedly on grass and leaves, while children played with their pet velociraptors. One bite of the apple sent these loving dinosaurs into a murderous rage.

Know that my reaction to this paragraph alone was, “Holy Shit.” I mean are you kidding me? Gay marriage and teaching evolution are on par with NUCLEAR WAR? And by the way, Mr. Swift, carnivorous wolves? Most definitely one of God’s creations… not ours.

And this is nothing to say of keeping velociraptors as pets…

I had hoped that this was a joke, maybe the whole thing was just tongue in cheek, a bad joke at a bad time when we should be honoring this man, not defaming him. But nope, it’s the real deal, how else can you explain away comparing Paris Hilton to Sparticus?

Even as I pound this out, I’m looking for the punchline, or glaring at my calendar waiting for it to show April 1st and not June 13th. But I keep coming up empty.

Is this really the core of the hard Christian Right? Is it really this extreme and ugly? The world in which Jon Swift imagines is one of blatant ignorance and bigotry, encouraging mediocrity and stifling intellectual dissent. It is the kind of world in which we as a people can only aspire to failure, though we do so ignorantly for the Lord will make everything right. He attacks Harry Potter, while so many education professionals love the book if for no other reason than it has been instrumental in helping young people learn how to read.

I… I’m sorry… My mother always said that profanity is not the language of intelligent people as it means if you revert back to it, you have nothing intelligent to say, and as I struggle to express my disgust with such an abhorent piece of ignorant shit, I have to agree… I really am struck just about speechless.

One Response to “Who The Fuck Is This Whackjob?!?!”

  1. Autumn Harvest says:

    Have you never heard of satire? The post comparing Paris Hilton to Spartacus is one of the clearest examples of satire I’ve ever seen. And even if it wasn’t, the poster’s name (Jon Swift) makes clear that it’s satire (look up “A Modest Proposal” on Wikipedia).

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