Gonzo, We Hardly Knew Ye

Actually, unfortunately, we did know you, and we still know you, I’m just warming up for the festivities to come, that’s all.

Now, my working theory is that Gonzo has some choice photographs of the President snortin’ coke off a hooker’s ass, but, let’s not quibble. The pictures could be of anything, Laura tokin’ up, Bush engaging in homosexuality, ANYTHING of the twins, I don’t know, I’m not omniscient, I’m just really sure that damning photos is the only way this guy has kept his job this long.

And unfortunately, Gonzo’s stubbornness in keeping his job may just lead to disaster no longer for the rest of us whom his department serves so poorly, but for himself. Hmmm… Okay, so maybe that’s not so unfortunate after all, but eventually, Gonzo’s gotta get to a point where he’s going to start kicking himself in the ass for not resigning long ago.

Now, in direct conflict of testimony profided by John Ashcroft’s former Deputy Attorney General Comey, Alberto Gonzales testified today that he never tried to pressure John Ashcroft, even while… um… admitting to pressure the hospitalized Attorney General.

The purpose of the hospital visit on March 10 was to tell Mr. Ashcroft of the Congressional leadership’s desire that authorization for President Bush’s intelligence-gathering program not expire the next day, as it was scheduled to, Mr. Gonzales said.

Now, I’m not sure about you, but to me that seems like a far cry from just stopping by to see how the bed ridden Ashcroft was doing. In fact, it sounds like a not too round about way of saying, “Hey, we need you to sign this off, it expires tomorrow.”

I may be crazy, but even in the politest of tone, the above statement would be, insistent. Well, whatever my own amateur interpretation may be, Senators, both Republican and Democrat, just weren’t buying it.

Which brings up where Gonzo’s fate may take him. It seems rather clear to me that, in fact, Gonzo was pretty much caught in a flat out lie. He had said there was no serious dissent, I believe under oath, and then, Comey comes out, tells of this fantastic episode which pretty much goes directly against that. And while Gonzo continues to tap dance around the specifics, one thing becomes clear; the event did happen, and either there was serious dissent, as evidenced by the fact that neither Ashcroft nor Comey would sign off on the program, or, there’s a whole new spy program which I’m sure will be in no way an infringement on our civil liberties and rights to privacy and due process unlike the warrantless wiretapping program or any other number of programs this administration has championed.

Also, one is left to ask, which is it? Earlier, Gonzo said this was all part of “another program” but in this report, Gonzo is apparently talking about THIS program, and not attempting to coerce John Ashcroft and I think I just went crosseyed.

Crosseyed or not, I think the safe money here is that Gonzo lied, and according to the Muckrakers, so do a few senators. Yup, after whatever strings he pulled to keep his job it looks as though the Attorney General has finally managed to put himself in the cross hairs, and it is highly likely that a Special Prosecutor will be looking into whether or not Gonzo perjured himself.

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