Im in ur internets, givin u noos

(note: Today’s news post will be delivered in lolspeak.  For a quick primer, click here)

-Bush: We can almost has freedumb in Irakxors!  Iz almozt der!

-Kerry 2 Bush: STFU N00B!  U is no can haz fr33dumb in Irakxors! Iz me hoo wuz in Nam biotchhhHHh!!!!111!!! 

–We can has debatez on FISA?  Iz prolly importanzes.

-Clinton 2 oder Demz:  FAIL

-Bolton: Oh Hai!  I’m in ur Iranz hoping we makes war!  We is totally pwning dem!

-Romney: Aborshun? I iz confuzzled.

-Pigeons:  Mai poops haz PWNAGE!