Jackass In Chief

It’s strange. I’m actually at a loss for how to describe this president anymore. I think I very well may have depleted my rather impressive vocabulary, particularly in the department of epithets.

So when I came across this via memeorandum, I knew I was miffed about it, I knew I wanted to riff on the president regarding it, but I’m still having a momentary lapse of verbosity.

The question I pose to you is, what would you expect to read following this headline; “President Bush Offers Sympathies and Assistance to Minneapolis and Calls on Congress to Act Before Recess“?

You would think it would be one of Bush’s heartfelt speeches filled with his “trademark” empathy on behalf of those who have suffered the recent catastrophic bridge collapse in Minneapolis, right? We would hear a long litany of those things Bush was enacting to help those poor folks, along with some particularly touching words about loss and hope, right?

Sadly but not shockingly, the president disappoints again. His list of actions in regards to the tragedy is short, his words of sympathy, perfunctory at best. At this point one gets the feeling that the man isn’t even trying anymore. He simply just couldn’t give two shits.

What he does care about, however, is his continued jihad against the Democratically led congress, as is evident by the bulk of the speech:

We also talked about — in the Cabinet meeting talked about the status of important pieces of legislation before the Congress. We spent a fair amount of time talking about the fact that how disappointed we are that Congress hasn’t sent any spending bills to my desk. By the end of this week, members are going to be leaving for their month-long August recess. And by the time they will return, there will be less than a month before the end of the fiscal year on September the 30th, and yet they haven’t passed one of the 12 spending bills that they’re required to pass. If Congress doesn’t pass the spending bills by the end of the fiscal year, Cabinet Secretaries report that their departments may be unable to move forward with urgent priorities for our country.

This doesn’t have to be this way. The Democrats won last year’s election fair and square, and now they control the calendar for bringing up bills in Congress. They need to pass each of these spending bills individually, on time, and in a fiscally responsible way.

The budget I’ve sent to Congress fully funds America’s priorities. It increases discretionary spending by 6.9 percent. My Cabinet Secretaries assure me that this is adequate to meet the needs of our nation.

Unfortunately, Democratic leaders in Congress want to spend far more. Their budget calls for nearly $22 billion more in discretionary spending next year alone. These leaders have tried to downplay that figure. Yesterday one called this increase — and I quote — “a very small difference” from what I proposed. Only in Washington can $22 billion be called a very small difference. And that difference will keep getting bigger. Over the next five years it will total nearly $205 billion in additional discretionary spending. That $205 billion averages out to about $112 million per day, $4.7 million per hour, $78,000 per minute.

Put another way, that’s about $1,300 in higher spending every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year for the next five years. That’s a lot of money — even for career politicians in Washington. In fact, at that pace, Democrats in Congress would have spent an extra $300,000 since I began these remarks.

There’s only one way to pay for all this new federal spending without running up the deficit, and that is to raise your taxes. A massive tax hike is the last thing the American people need. The plan I put forward would keep your taxes low and balance the budget within five years, and that is the right path for our country.

Yup. Two paragraphs total dealing with the bridge collapse, and the rest of the entire speech is him whining about congress.

But what really caused my unbelievably handsome brow to furrow was this talk of the Democrats’ desire to increase discretional spending by 22 billion dollars. 22 billion. Hmmmmm… For some reason that number sounds incredibly familiar to me.

Think… Think… Think…

OH YEAH! 22 Billion sounds an awful lot like the 21 billion dollars that Bush has vowed to veto that would go towards shoring up the Gulf Coast area against hurricanes in the future! I KNEW it came from somewhere.

So what we see here is Bush advertising sympathy and help for the Minneapolis tragedy, and pulling the old bait and switch so he could rail against Congress for trying to prevent another tragedy in the Gulf Coast area. And he does so without at least having the balls to admit to the fact that that’s where the money would be going.

Also absent, yet again, is the money we spend on the Iraq war, but oops, I forgot, that money doesn’t count because he doesn’t want it too.

I keep telling myself that any day now he’s going to pop out onto the Rose Garden and say, “HA! Fooled you! Okay this is what’s really been going on for the last six years” at which point he reveals that his entire presidency was merely just a huge practical joke between him, the military, and all the major and minor news organizations, and really, everything’s doing a-okay.

What? A man can dream, can’t he?

(note: Big thanks to Shakespeare’s Sister for linking in, as well as Crooks and Liars)

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