Rudy: Cutting Checks No One’s Ass Can Cash

I gotta tell you, it’s been an absolutely HORRIBLE day for me.  I could go into specifics, but suffice it to say I thought I was about to get physically pummeled by a very angry supervisor who is about twice my size (and I’m not small).  And I do mean physically in the he’s-been-documented-as-being-forced-to-go-to-anger-management-courses way.

Then there was the depressing article about a man who shouldn’t be executed on death row, and overall I find myself in a mood of general crap.

THANK GOD FOR RUDY GIULIANI!

There is no end to the humor that man is capable of inducing, and this time, it’s a knee slapper.  The reason?  Rudy promises, as president, to END illegal immigration!  Not work on it, not reform it, but to end it.

Reportedly, he’s planning on announcing his plan to cultivate money-growing trees next week, and I’ve heard rumors that he’s working with geneticists on a new breed of flying pigs as well.  Won’t Cernig be happy, he’ll finally be able to get a real live mascot!

First you gotta have a fence… A really really big fence, with high tech stuffs… and you might want that fence to encompass all of our oceans and such too because, well, no one has EVER heard of people rafting over here as opposed to jumping the border?

Then there are the ID cards folks.  Remember, as far as Rudy Giuliani is concerned, no immigration plan is viable unless EVERYONE has a tamper proof identification card.  Sidebar for a second here folks… doesn’t this strike anyone else as just a little creepy?  Or is it just me and Chris Matthews?  I mean, this is the kind of stuff bad Science Fiction writes about.  Oh well.

But then, after the fence, and the cards, then there’s the fact that you actually have to make it all happen!  Which considering the problems we had with the much more compromise minded immigration bill that died none too long ago makes me wonder how viable Rudy’s plan will be in a more Democratic congress…  Hold on, lemme check the ol’ Magic Eight Ball ™…

hmmm… ah, “Outlook not good”.

And then there’s just good old fashion realism.  All these ideas are well and good, okay, not really, but they do address part of the problem, but they’re not going to the source.  This is something I’ve been repeating ad nauseum lately when it comes to illegal immigration.  We have to look at the big factors here; the corruption of Mexico’s government and the tendancy for Mexico to illegally export its poverty to the US.  This will be fixed by no wall or fence you put up, it’ll just keep out the less crafty or less physically capable folks.

The other major factor as I see it is our own immigration policies.  A vast majority of these people are coming over here for a better life, and hey, that’s kinda what America is all about, isn’t it?  I don’t see the necessity for the long lines to get into the country; we can strip this down and streamline the process so that we get the good people coming in in a much more timely manner while still effectively barring those that shouldn’t be over here, aka terrorists and criminals.

If you fairly ease up naturalization requirements, I think you’ll find that the number of people coming in here illegally will drastically reduce.

There you go, two big factors that could greatly affect the illegal immigration status here in America.  But that takes hard work, and people who actually like to think, particularly when we look at trying to work with Mexico in reforming its own government so it’s not screwing its own people.

And who wants to do hard work right?  Not Rudy, let’s just put up a bunch of blanket knee jerk policies and start promising unreasonable results, right?  But there’s a problem with that too.

As you all know, I reside in the Tidewater region of Virginia; a region that relies heavily upon the military and tourism for its local economy.  And we’re not the only one to rely on tourism heavily.

Tourism is a vast and necessary industry in this country, and we’re already screwing the pooch there with our airport security standards which leave many foreigners (non terrorist foreigners) with a bad taste in their mouth.

Now, imagine if you will, the effect on our tourism industry if all of a sudden President Rudy (oh god, that just sent shivers down me spine.  I’m sorry, I’ll never write those two words next to each other again) actually got his wish and required every non citizen in our borders to get a tamper proof ID card.  I mean, this is just to go to Disney World…

I have a feeling that Euro Disney might actually start picking up business, while our tourist industry kinda goes to shit.

Rudy Rudy Rudy.  Whatever are we going to do with you?

(hopefully not make you president)

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