I’m 4 Ron Paul In ‘08 - SRSLY!!!1

…or at least I would be, if only I were a citizen of the United States of America (le soigh). After the fold, the Top Ten Reasons Why Ron Paul Is My #1 SexyBeast Man Crush Of The Moment:

10. When Ron Paul does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

09. Ron Paul can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

08. Ron Paul can slam a revolving rEVOLving door.

07. A Ron Paul-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

06. When Ron Paul has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

05. Ron Paul doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

04. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Ron Paul, each testicle is larger than the other one.

03. Ron Paul has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

02. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ron Paul pajamas.

And the number one reason why, more than any other US presidential candidate, Ron Paul makes my BVDs all creamy moist (and, eventually, crusty):

Ron Paul’s tears cure cancer. Too bad Ron Paul has never cried. Ever.

Shout outs to Ron’s homeboys in the JBS and the tinfoil elite, the 5% of blacks with sensible political opinions (a minority within an incredibly fleet-footed minority), and, of course, the infamous ‘ghostwriter’ (who may or may not be currently working for Michael Medved). The rEVOLution will not be televised (thank God reason).

[edited slightly for clarity]