The GreenBush Home-Grown Comedy Show and Snake Oil Carnival

In re: The Global Warming Conference

With every day that passes it becomes clearer and clearer that when Bush isn’t acting like those other King Georges and building his monarchy, he sees himself as EmCee of the World’s Biggest Sales & Marketing Circus, bringing enlightenment to the masses at a rock-bottom price – paying for his protection rackets by agreeing to US control over all the resources on the planet, especially OIL.

When word leaked out that Co-President Cheney’s high-powered Energy Task Force – a gathering of the most powerful oil execs in the country – weren’t banging out a comprehensive energy policy for the nation but huddled around maps of the oil fields in Iraq (and this was months before the invasion), it became fairly obvious to everyone who hadn’t already sold their soul to the Bush Cult what the Administration’s agenda really was: control of the world’s oil supply, or as much of it as they could grab for their cohorts in the industry.

Well, they still don’t have it. The Iraqi Oil Law that would make US oil companies partners in the sale of Iraq’s only national resource hasn’t passed the Iraqi parliament (or whatever it’s calling itself these days), and the oil fields, under constant attack from insurgent rebels, have been unable to produce a fraction of the profits Exxon and Ray Hunt and Chevron had expected to be swelling their coffers by now. What to do, what to do?

Synergy, that’s what. Bush is feeling these days that his environmental “legacy” could use a little burnishing, what with selling off whole mountains to coal companies, altering scientific studies to justify selling off everything from national forest land to the Atlantic Ocean, declaring arsenic a vitamin so polluting corporations don’t have to clean up the water they dump their chemical waste in, and such like. So, with the idea that killing two baby seals with a single bullet is tres cost-effective, not to mention sexy, he geared up the GreenBush Global Warming Carnival for a road trip to the other side of the White House where he presented his laff-riot comic skit, “Global Warming Exists After All, But Only in Other Countries“.

Affecting to have finally, after years of denial, come around to accepting the possibility that the world’s scientists may have a better idea of what’s going on with the climate than Pat Robertson, Mr George promptly gave the game away by:

  1. acting as if this wasn’t a drastic change from his previous stance but the position he has, really, honest, no kidding, held all along;
  2. offering, despite the supposed emergency, absolutely nothing but his word (which is worth what, on the open market? a crumpled, stained, 10-yr-old bus transfer?) that the US would think about maybe at some point in the indefinite future think about thinking about possibly making a few minor changes in the way it’s scarfing up and wasting 3/4 of the planet’s non-renewable resources;
  3. offering, despite the supposed emergency, absolutely nothing in the way of new initiatives and no guarantees whatsoever that he’ll support any of the old initiatives that have been waiting for action by the US since he scuttled the Kyoto Treaty his first days in office; and
  4. hamstringing himself and the US with a firm command that no strategy to reduce global warming will be considered if it in any way, shape, or form threatens to cost American corporations one solitary dollar or the CEO’s of those corps 5 minutes sleep.

He called that last item “the economy” but we know by now exactly how he defines that word: Wall Street. If the investor class is minting money, its pockets are over-flowing, and its vaults bursting at the seams, then the economy is Good. If there’s any little thing, no matter how small, interfering with the corporatocracy’s financial rape of the planet, the economy is Bad and something has to be done about it, goddamn it.

But this particular Circus isn’t merely a PR stunt so His Eminently Imperialness can argue in later years that he was The Environmental President, eclipsing all others in his care and nurturing of Mother Earth. He can’t possibly think we’re dumb enough to believe he means any of what he’s saying for “posterity”, not when his EPA is as polluter-friendly as a hooker at a Republican convention.

The Environmental Protection Agency‘s pursuit of criminal cases against polluters has dropped off sharply during the Bush administration, with the number of prosecutions, new investigations and total convictions all down by more than a third, according to Justice Department and EPA data.

The number of civil lawsuits filed against defendants who refuse to settle environmental cases was down nearly 70 percent between fiscal years 2002 and 2006, compared with a four-year period in the late 1990s, according to those same statistics.

No, polishing up his phony-baloney image is only Prong #1 of a double-bladed strategy. There’s a far more serious purpose behind the shits-and-giggles of the GreenBush Minstrel Show that’s a direct consequence of the Iraq occupation not turning out to be the Cash Cow it was supposed to be.

Bush, aiming to corral as much of the world’s petroleum as he can get his greedy little hands on, wants all the other countries on the planet currently competing for it to quit, or at least slow down, consuming what he thinks of as America’s energy source. If they conserve, he figures we won’t have to.

So, like the spoiled, silver spoon brat he is, he fully expects to be able to use a global warming threat to convince the rest of the world to make the sacrifices he has no intention of making just to buy him some time and make him look like the president his isn’t, never has been, and never will be. The conference is a cynical, selfish, conscienceless scam about getting the world to do what his family has been doing all his life and what he has come to believe he’s entitled to: being bailed out of yet another disastrous mistake.

Well, I mean, really. What else would we expect from our FratBoy Failure? That at this late date he’s going to suddenly start thinking of asses other than his own and his rich buddies? Gimme une break.

7 Responses to “The GreenBush Home-Grown Comedy Show and Snake Oil Carnival”

  1. matttbastard says:

    Just wish our gov’t wasn’t playing the role of straight man in the routine.

  2. mick says:

    The Bush Cult strikes again. It wasn’t so many years ago that Canada was pushing the US hard to clean up its act, threatening lawsuits over acid rain despoliation and condemning our laissez-faire attitude toward protecting the oceans, among other things. Wha’ hoppen’t?

  3. Great post, just one technical nitpick.

    Dick Cheney’s official title is Arch Chancelor. He’s working on getting it upgraded to High Arch Chancelor, but so far the ministry of truth isn’t going for it, which is ironic to the point of confusing, actually.

  4. mick says:

    Well, if you think Dick Cheney needs anybody’s permission to upgrade himself to the Vice Emperorhood or whatever, I think maybe you’ve been sloughing at the despond too long.

  5. No, just hopelessly optimistic.

  6. matttbastard says:

    It wasn’t so many years ago that Canada was pushing the US hard to clean up its act, threatening lawsuits over acid rain despoliation and condemning our laissez-faire attitude toward protecting the oceans, among other things. Wha’ hoppen’t?

    In a word: Oil (and not just the tar sands in AB).

    That, and a federal gov’t that considers Kyoto to be “a socialist scheme to suck money out of wealth-producing nations.

    Not that the Grits ever paid anything more substantial than lip-service to climate change/Kyoto.

    (Oh, and NAFTA certainly didn’t help, either.)

    Somebody keep Kyle away from all sharp objects and pill bottles.

  7. Don’t worry, about two months into getting interested in politics, I had my wife throw all the pills away and if I can’t cut it with a plast butter knife, I don’t eat it.

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