Values Voters Rejoice!

You know something?  I’ve been sitting here, thinking to myself, where have the family values gone?  I’m serious.  It seems as though the entire 2008 presidential contest is simply voide of good old fashioned American family values.  Rudy’s on his third wife and his first was a cousin.  Hillary… come on, she was married to Bill Clinton, enough said there.  Fred Thompson robs the cradle and Mitt Romney is (shudder gasp) Mormon!

What’s a Jesus loving Christian to do?  Thank God Alan Keyes is entering the race!

Come on, you guys remember Alan Keyes?  Two time failed Republican presidential candidate and the guy who got utterly demolished by Senator Barack Obama for the senate seat in Illinois? Yeah, that guy. And you can rest assured that he’s in it to inject those oh so precious family values into the GOP 2008 debate.

And boy howdy does this guy have some street creds.  You want to talk about conviction, let me be square with you.  Dick Cheney scares the shit out of me.  I would rather run down Crip territory in LA wearing nothing but red than meet Arch Chancelor Dick in a dark alley.

But does Dick scare Keyes?  Oh gosh no.  Alan Keyes is so principled he had no qualms calling Mary Cheney, the Arch Chancelor’s daughter, a “selfish hedonist”.  But it gets better.  Soldiers in the war against gay, Alan is your general.  This is a man who’s so harcore about family values that, upon learning his own daughter was a lesbian, threw her out of the house.

In all reality, there’s nothing funny about Alan Keyes.  I have a hard time calling someone who would disown his own daughter because of her sexual orientation human, let alone a man of values.  In fact, when I first caught this, I thought it might be a joke candidacy, you know, kind of like Jon “The Impaler” Sharkey’s campaign where everyone knows it’s a joke but the candidate himself.

But to my utter dismay, not only is his campaign legit, but he’s also got a spot at the next GOP presidential debate.  This may seem like it’s a great thing for Democrats considering that Keyes is a first order lunatic wingnut, and should therefore rub his insane stink on the rest of the field, but there’s definitely another angle to think about.

As a friend once explained with Gravel and Kucinich, one of the benefits of having them part of the debate is that they allow the other candidates to slide left without looking like moonbats (this hasn’t necessarily happened but at least it’s there).

Alan Keyes provides a similar opening for a field that is itching to prove its conservative credentials.  With Keyes so far socially conservative it’s kinda gross and reprehensible, it allows his GOP opponents to slide even further right without looking, well, as bad as Keyes.

In any case, at least it should make Monday’s debate entertaining.

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