Chuck Norris Does Not Endorse A Candidate…

…he beats the piss out of everyone until his chosen candidate is the only one left alive.

Okay, so I’m not good at penning Chuck Norris jokes, but then, Chuck Norris apparently isn’t that great at politics, so we’ll call it even.

I thoughtit kind of silly when Norris endorsed Huckabee, I mean, really, aside from the viral Chuck Norris facts thing, Walker Texas Ranger’s just not that big of a deal anymore.  But then I kept seeing him standing at Huckabee’s side during speeches, and well, I guess the the former martial arts film star was going to be a bigger part of the campaign than I thought.

And boy howdy does that seem to have been a mistake.

While the people who actually knew politics were staying behind for a day in Little Rock, no doubt looking at how they were going to attack the fiercely contested Florida, Huck was visiting Chuck at a barbecue in Texas where Chuck managed to kick that famous foot of his into his own mouth.

The error?  Claiming John McCain was too old to be president.  Chuck Norris does not stick his foot in his mouth, he does a super dragon flying kick and…  okay, okay, I’ll stop.

Still, I wonder if all that action on tv and movie sets got him ready for the double strike that he performed at the Texas ranch press conference.  The first group that gets hit with the too old attack would be the Reaganites.  Reagan, the current hero of the GOP, was apparently John McCain’s age when he first took office.  Given the fact that Goppers are ready to suck off the mere memory of Reagan at a moment’s notice, I’m sure a lot of people believe that he wasn’t too old.

Despite the difference in hair color, I would say that McCain is, if anything, doing better than Reagan for the same age.

But the other thing to take into account is with Florida just over the horizon, now is exactly the wrong time to start talking about age, given the high population of seniors in the state.

Too old? Bad move, especially coming from someone who’s only four years younger.

But that’s right, Chuck Norris doesn’t get older, he just…


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