A Song For Larry Craig

In honor of what I hope will be the last bit of news we hear from the esteemed Larry Craig, a song:

Man, I got to tell ya, you would never catch me in the US Senate. No way! Those guys are harsh! But first, a quick recap.

Republican US Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was busted in a sting in a Minneapolis airport attempting to solicit sex from an undercover policeman acting as a male prostitute. Apparently, the good Senator wasn’t none too pleased, as I’m sure none of us would be, at the prospect of getting busted for trying to get it on in a public restroom and immediately tried getting out of it. Despite his protests, however, the police would not relent but Larry had a trump card.

Or more accurately, a US Senate card which he threw down and said, “What do you think about that?” They apparently didn’t think very highly about it and continued to book him. Eventually, Larry Craig pled guilty… not because he was guilty, mind you, but because he was already being investigated by a local media outlet for a clandestine homosexual lifestyle, and if the word of his arrest hit the papers, his goose would be cooked.

So he pled guilty to keep the whole thing hushed up, which worked for a little bit, until it leaked. That’s when the circus erupted all over the national papers, and Electric Six’s song above probably got more airplay than the band probably ever thought imaginable.

Hopefully, today marks the end of it. There may be a few outgoing jokes over the next few days, stuff about wide stances and toe tapping, and then it’ll be done with. This because the Senate Ethics Panel has chosen to admonish Larry Craig, and believe me, when they choose to admonish someone, they really get the job done. Craig has said he will retire at the end of his term.

The GTL reminds us exactly why this is such a big deal:

I’m sure most of us agree there’s nothing wrong with being gay; to each his/her own, right? But to spend years spewing anti-gay hatred to the masses for no other purpose but political, financial, and personal gain while being a closeted homosexual all along is, at the very least, a little bit “disengenuous”. The Senate Ethics Committee agrees, it appears…

This has always been what bothered me the most about the story. It should go without saying that homosexuality in no way bothers me; I don’t look down upon it, and I believe very much in gay rights. It was the rank hypocrisy that really stoked the fires and got me seeing red in this story. Look, people are going to get in where they fit in, that’s fine, but there’s a big flag on the play where your chosen nookie buddy behind closed doors is a guy, but when you get out in the public life you preach the sermon of gay-hate all the time.

It’s disgusting. It’s like Newt Gingrich going after Clinton for his extra marital liasons WHILE HE HIMSELF WAS HAVING ONE!

I personally would prefer it if all these suits would quit worrying about what people are doing with their private parts, but if they absolutely insist on taking a vested interest in the matter, it would be extremely nice of them to condemn something they themselves are doing in private.

Larry Craig was a dishonor upon the US Senate, not because he was gay, but because he waged war on gay rights. That he was trying to get some DL action as well… that’s just a slap in the face.

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