The Number John McCain Should Fear The Most

You take a look at hypothetical match up polls between the two remaining Democratic candidates and John McCain, and it may look a little ugly right now for the Democratic party.

For Clinton:


And for Obama:


Shorter: a race that is supposed to be a slam dunk is too close for comfort.

It’s almost enough to get someone in panic mode, but I’m here to tell you to relax.  It’s going to be okay.  We got this.

You see, there’s all kinds of reasons to ignore these polls right now.  For one, there’s still, oh, about seven months left between now and November 4th.  Second, this is also partly a result of the bitter primary and divided camps.  Once the Democratic party makes it through the primary and heals itself, we’ll be looking at a stronger support base going up against McCain, and he’s sure to drop.

But if I were McCain I wouldn’t be looking at these numbers and cheering.  Oh no, I would be looking at a different poll and filling my Depends ™.  That poll would be the one that says a full 81% of Americans think this country has gone down the wrong path.

McCain shouldn’t be too pleased with this number because, really, his entire candidacy is based on the idea of… get this… keeping this country on its current trajectory.  At this point, the only real selling point McCain has is that he’s not quite as annoying as Bush is when he speaks.

But trust me, kids, after four years of hearing, “My friends,” over and over again, you’re going to want to pull the guy’s tongue out and beat him with it.

That might be what they mean when they talk about this being a “Change” election year.  I’d like to see McCain try to package himself off as the “Change” candidate:

McCain: Of course, I’m going to be the change candidate.

Reporter: Um… you’re ancient.  What exactly are you planning on changing?

McCain: Well…

Reporter: Okay, tell us about Iraq.  How are you going to change Iraq?

McCain: Well, my friends, I plan on staying there as long as we need to.  Maybe a hundred years or more.

Reporter: Er… that’s the plan we’re currently under.  In fact, some of us have taken to calling it Operation: Stubborn Morons Who Don’t Know What They’re Doing.

McCain: Oh… But, my friends, the change is that I’ll be the one running it, so that’s some change for you.  And we’ll probably be at war with Iran a year after I take office, that’ll be a big change of pace.

Reporter: But, isn’t that a change for the worse?

McCain: If you’re Iranian, or one of our grandchildren trying to figure out how to pay these wars off.

Reporter: Speaking of paying things off.

McCain: Uh-oh.

Reporter: Excuse me?

McCain: Nothing, just… you’re going to ask me about the economy, aren’t you?

Reporter: Yeah.

McCain: Cut taxes and deregulate.

Reporter: But, you didn’t even hear my question.

McCain: Cut taxes and deregulate.

Reporter: But what if I…

McCain: Cut taxes and deregulate. 

Reporter: (sigh) Fine, okay, so how’s this a change from the Bush administration?

McCain: Well, uh… you see my friends, the uh… the important part is that I’ll be the one running it now.

Okay, you get the idea.

Shorter: If four fifths of the country want a new direction, it might be helpful running to the direction everyone else is running from.  Just a thought… I could be crazy.

More at memeorandum: PoliBlog (TM),  Think Progress, Firedoglake, Matthew Yglesias, Big Brass Blog, The Opinionator, Will Wilkinson, Hot Air, Macsmind, Connecting.the.Dots, The Bing Blog, Pirate’s Cove, American Street, Air America Radio blogs, naked capitalism, Daily Kos, Prairie Weather, Balloon Juice, The American Conservative, Blue Girl, Red State, Hotline On Call, Talking Points Memo, The New Republic, Taegan Goddard’s …, CBS News and The Page

One Response to “The Number John McCain Should Fear The Most”

  1. Journalisk says:

    To answer your comment, (and not your libel, careful there) what’s really meant by a change election year is a year in which change, constitutional change, is required in order for the republic to maintain itself. Right now it has holes in it worthy of Caesar (on the Ides of March).

    A change year is one which requires a statesman in office in order to safeguard it, and make it safe for a politician (a.k.a. to occupy again. That means the only candidate who can actually offer the needed change is Mike Gravel, who’s plan would fix the three current loopholes in our constitution. Anyone else would probably exploit them.

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