The Awesomeness of John McCain

Forget Chuck Norris.  Yeah, so what if Chuck Norris can shoot down a fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling, “BANG!”  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter that when Chuck Norris is doing a push up, he’s really pushing the whole world down, or even that he can run around the world fast enough to punch himself in the back of the head.  These feats pale in comparison to the mighty prowess and awesomeness of John McCain.

John McCain can win a debate before he’s even sure he wants to go.

This ad apparently was already up and running over at the WSJ, at a time, mind you, during which John McCain’s campaign was still supposed to be suspended.  I’m just, I’m flabbergasted.

Look, the modern presidential debate is little more than scheduled spin wars.  You have highly anticipated ninety minute slots where you sit down and hope your candidate doesn’t impale himself with his own words, and maybe, if you’re really lucky, get off the kind of shot that gets heard around the world (Think Reagan, “There you go again.”).  But whatever happens, after the debate is over it doesn’t matter if one candidate started eating babies while the other decided to strip down and deficate on the audience members.  What matters is that both campaigns will immediately start claiming victory, and it’s up to the press’s coverage following the debate which campaign will be successful.

That’s just how it goes.

But it’s kind of like pro-wrestling.  Yes, everyone knows pro-wrestling is fake, but you still pretend.  The people putting on the show pretend, and while you’re sitting there watching it, you pretend it’s all real, the chairs, the sledge hammers, getting ran over by a car, all of it.

Really, this is all amateur hour.  I know we talked about how the Hillary Clinton campaign was disastrous, but the whole lot of them, including Mark Penn, are starting to look like sagacious masters of politics in comparison.

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