American Idol Sucks!

Created: January 14th, 2009 | Written By: Macswain

I hear the premiere episode of American Idol, Season 8 aired tonight. Of course, I don’t waste my time with such silly drivel; you know, with all the heady shit I got goin’ on ever evening — reading me some Shakespeare, thirty year old repeats of Masterpiece Theatre to watch.

If I were the type of loser that did watch, here are some impressions I hear I might’ve had.

Randy’s been eating well, Paula was strangely coherent (rehab?), Simon dominated and the new judge blew (as did the overplayed “what’s her name” bits).

2640677903_55c7b44075 Three chicks apparently stood out in the friendly sangin’ competition part of the show. The one I hear I would’ve liked the best was the rocker chick at the beginning of the show who nailed an accapella version of a Macswain ATF, Heart’s Barracuda. She’s as real as Sarah Palin is fake.

Vanessa Hudgens had a great audition. Though I thought she was already under contract to Disney, so not sure how she got on.

Then there was some trailer park chick that delivered a grimey version of Otis Redding’s Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay. I hear she had an original voice if your into that low brow kind of thing.

All the dude singers basically blew chunks. I know many of you might’ve fell for that last dude working his angle. Nice voice, kid, but don’t mistake that glint in my eye for a tear … it was … uhm ..you know late … and i was … uhm … tired. Now beat it Ol’ Yeller. I not like you!

Share and Enjoy:

Sphere: Related Content

Like what you've read? Consider subscribing to our RSS feed or listening in to our weekly podcast for more up to date political news and commentary.

From The Uncategorized department.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

15 Responses to “American Idol Sucks!”

Kathy on January 14th, 2009 11:14 am

I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t like Kara what’s-her-name.
terry on January 14th, 2009 1:15 pm

shameless posting about AI for blog traffic

I liked Deanna Brown’s Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay the best.
Macswain on January 14th, 2009 1:39 pm

terry,

Shame on you for having watched. Boy, won’t you be in a pickle if they ever run “American Idol” at the same time as “Rock of Love.”
terry on January 14th, 2009 2:07 pm

hey I have some standards…I would never watch “Rock of Love”

And to show I’m not totally addicted, next Tuesday I’ve chosen Obama over Idol. Anyone else going to DC?
Kathy on January 14th, 2009 2:16 pm

Oh YEAH, Terry! I wouldn’t have remembered her name, but she was the best of last night’s auditions, by far.
Dustin on January 14th, 2009 2:39 pm

You people scare me…
Macswain on January 14th, 2009 3:13 pm

I got good money that says Emily Wynne-Hughes outlasts Trailer Park Brown.
Chief on January 14th, 2009 4:41 pm

American W H A T ! !
Kathy on January 14th, 2009 11:12 pm

I liked Kara better today. Her hair looked more normal.
rawdawgbuffalo on January 16th, 2009 1:44 pm

now that was funny
CDM on February 26th, 2009 12:08 am

American Idol really, really sucks! The gimmick guy that covers up his bad voice clinging to the AI emblem sucks. The people that can really sing are eliminated while they try to be commercial. The new judge agitates; Paula looks and sounds drunk. Not enough people of color on the show. I know there were at least 10,000 people that could sing better than the GImmick clown. Even the Bipolar girl sounded better than any of these contestants. The best contestants couldn’t even win a bar karoke…C’mon.

I will never watch American Idol again.
Anonymous on April 23rd, 2009 10:22 pm

American Idol is the worst show of all-time, in my opinion. They have only contributed to making the “blonde, 80 lb prom queen” singer image more and more popular and menacing to the rest of society. Ryan Seacrest is as annoying as a morning dove is at very early in the AM. The judges are all out of their minds as to what vocal talent really is because all this POS show cares about is commercial singing. Who will be the best future lip syncher and one-hit wonder in 2009? I like how the American people continue to fall for this crap hoping to see the next Whitney Houston and every single year, the person who wins ends up having a trash career anyway. Nothing but a popularity contest. We tell our children to not vote for the popular people and yet we participate in junk like this. Hypocrisy at its best.
darren on May 19th, 2009 7:12 pm

American Idol has to be the biggest smut on T.V.- Randy Jackson is an uncreative dumb ass, Paula Abdul is on so many drugs it’s ridiculous and that other girl has no opinion to call her own. The “talent” is garbage and all of you that keep watching this shit are idiots. Ryan Seacrest and Simon are gay lovers. Actually i’d rsther watch gay sex between those two than hear about this show. Thank god Simon is calling it quits after this year. STOP WATCHING THIS SMUT!!!!THERE WILL NOT BE ANY TALENT COMING FROM THIS SHOW- I HOPE PAULA GETS HIT BY A BUS
D-A-R-K on July 4th, 2009 3:03 pm

American Idol is made up of the people that Hitler wanted to kill but couldn’t kill.
Nazis and white supremacists don’t watch this crap.
nathan on July 20th, 2009 7:29 am

I would rather eat a box of laxatives then watch this piece of shit show. All of yu that watch it are morons, and all the show does is promote negative body images. The only reason that obese guy won was so that AI could pretend they didn’t just pick “pretty” anorexic crack whores and gay pretty boys.