Getting Down to Basic Truths

Gawker, that rock-solid investigative reporting site (just check out the article teasers at the top if you doubt their reportorial chops), puts up an article saying that Erich “Mancow” Muller faked his waterboarding. It wasn’t a “hoax,” exactly, according to Gawker’s informed sources — it was meant to “look real” but actually was only “simulated.” Mancow, in short, was not really drowning — it was a staged waterboarding, not an actual one. No, really. It’s true. It was fake. So just don’t anyone put down investigative journalists while I’m around, cuz man, how else would we find out about the lies we’re being told if dedicated seekers of truth like The Cajun Boy were not willing to work so hard to dig out the truth?

Anyway, right-wing bloggers are just flipping out about this news. Michelle Malkin knows how sheepish we libs are all feeling right now, and she can’t help but rub it in a bit: “Time for B.S. detector tune-ups, people. Next time, libs, don’t be so eager to hype a veteran radio entertainer crying ‘torture.’ “

I won’t, I won’t, I promise, Michelle! Honest and true, I won’t let any veteran radio entertainers make a fool out of me no more.

For HughS at Wizbang, the take-away is that lefties allowed their hearts to overrule their heads: We wanted so badly to believe that waterboarding is torture that we fell for a cheap trick — just “further evidence of how poorly informed and blinded the minions of the fever swamp have become.”

John Hawkins’ analysis deserves to be quoted at length:

Let me also just say this: not only is Mancow a worthless piece of human debris for doing this, all of the liberals who rushed out to shout, “Waterboarding is torture because Mancow says so” are almost as idiotic as the guy who hoaxed you.

Now, consider the facts as people knew them, even before he admitted this was a hoax:

1) Mancow volunteered to do this live on his radio show. How many people would genuinely volunteer to be tortured? Anybody out there want to have your toes broken with a hammer? Okay then, who wants to have bamboo shoots jammed under your fingernails? Anybody? All right, lets go halfway and use a technique the terrorists actually use against our guys — who volunteers to have a power drill run through his leg? Nobody? But, but, but…people are falling all over themselves to get waterboarded, so they can talk to the press about it? Why aren’t they willing to have these other forms of “torture” done to them? It’s obvious. The reason people are willing to be waterboarded is that while it may be extremely unpleasant, it’s not torture. They know it will be a short, miserable experience, then it will be over and they’ll suffer no lasting effects or trauma from the experience.

2) 30 seconds after Mancow was waterboarding, he was talking live on the radio. How can that be if it’s “torture?”

Let me just put it this way: waterboarding isn’t torture. I’m not the least bit sorry, embarrassed, or troubled that it was used at Guantanamo Bay. In fact, I wouldn’t have been troubled if it had been used on fifty times as many prisoners. They’re terrorists who use real torture on our men. Stop crying into your pillow about how tough they have it. Last but not least, I hope the United States uses waterboarding again after Obama is out of office.

More here.

I know a lot of liberals who like to say that right-wingers are as sharp as a plastic knife, but reading the above, that’s not hard to believe.

But seriously, folks. All kidding aside. Anyone who bets a supersized box of plastic utensils on the proposition that a hardened rightist is capable of saying things that are so dumb and so devoid of reasoning ability that you just can’t believe the words you’re reading are really the words you’re reading, will have that box of plastic utensils for a very long time.

5 Responses to “Getting Down to Basic Truths”

  1. Jack Jodell says:

    Let’s face it, Kathy. Today’s far-right conservatives are radical reactionaries and fanatical extremists. They are paranoids who see and/or manufacture things that aren’t really there. Truth and fact mean nothing to them, as they don’t analyze or reason as normal, intelligent people do. The reactionary mind is so closed and rigidly doctrinaire it can only accept that which agrees with it completely or reinforces its own preconceived notions. When presented with opposing evidence, it either goes into complete denial and then attack mode, or it manufactures spin to justify its position. The validity of the spin, of course, does not matter in the least, so long as it can serve as an “answer” to the opposing viewpoint. Modern conservatism is a form of delusional mental illness. It has next to nothing in common with the genuine conservatism of say, Goldwater or Reagan.

  2. Booogie-Mann says:

    Jack, you spin more than a Major League curve ball and stink like used Depends. In all your posts here you’ve provided not one fact nor insight … just your own pathetic, hallucinogenic view of Conservative thought.

    You guys got taken by prankster Mancow!! So eager to report any Conservative who thinks waterboarding is torture … to bolster your view …. but even Eric Holder could not define SERE waterboarding as torture while under oath. Get over the revenge tactics and let’s move on.

  3. Jack Jodell says:

    Boogie-Mann, I think you’ve been sniffing Depends. Domestic and international courts have established many times over that waterboarding IS torture. That is not my opinion; that is FACT. LEGAL PRECEDENT, set time and again. UNDENIABLE fact. When the courts have decided, MANY of them, that is law set into stone. You conservatives love to complain about legislating from the bench. Do you prefer to have your legislation come from a twisted Justice Department at a twisted Vice President’s urging? Or are you content, as you should be, to have your legislation come from Congress and then be reaffirmed in the courts, as it should be and is?

  4. tas says:

    They’re OK with “judicial activism” as long as it comes from their side, like the 2000 election decision.

  5. Booogie-Mann says:

    Wasn’t any Judicial Activism here tas, the Bush Administration and the CIA devised the whole interrogation program. Congress approved the plan via the 2006 Military Commissions Act after the Supreme Court injected itself. So the process of making Law was followed in this case, Congress passed laws and the Supreme Court reviewed the laws.

    In 2000 the Supreme Court ruled that voting rules cannot be changed AFTER the fact … which is what Gore and Co. were trying to do to get more votes. Gore wanted to change how ballots were counted, allow dimpled ballots and “interpretive voting” where some boxes were left blank. Gore also pushed to have Military votes thrown out. I admit the whole thing was a mess, it was indeed very close, but not a single recount put Gore ahead of Bush. Those are the facts. The Supreme court ruled quite wisely in my view, to NOT allow Gore to change the rules AFTER the vote. Go read the Court opinion.

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