Tomorrow’s wingnut headlines today

The boys and I at Prognostication Nation have run some computer models, and we think we know what today’s news will look like tomorrow … for wingnuts.

Headline #1: Based off this story —

By 2011, GM aims to shrink its U.S. work force to 38,000, which is less than one-tenth of what the company had in 1985. GM will also shut down around 2,000 dealerships.

Tomorrow’s wingnut headline will be : “OMIGAWDZ!@  FASCIST OBAMA HIS CLOSING DOWN MORE REPUBLICAN DEALERSHIPS IN HIS MARCH TO SOCIALISM!@!#  HE’S THE NEW STALIN!!”

This part of the story, “…the government’s limited involvement: ‘No plant decisions. No job decisions. No colors-of-car decisions,'” will go competely ignored, of course.

Headline #2: Air France flight disappears over the Atlantic —

There were no distress calls from the pilots. What exactly happened remains a mystery that may never be solved, particularly considering that the lack of distress calls from the pilots signals that it must have been a quick succession of events.

The MSM thinks the flight’s disappearence is unexplained, but the wingnut response, I’m sure, will be swift: “THAT PLANE WAS FILLED WITH REPUBLICANS!@  THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PLACED HIJACKERS ON IT BECAUSE HE WANTS US ALL TO DIIIIE!  LOOK, THE PLANE WAS IN A COUNTRY NEXT DOOR TO VENEZUELA, HE MUST HAVE TEAMED UP WITH CHAVEZ!  THIS IS FASCISM!” [drooling at mouth]

And there you have it, tomorrow’s wingnut headlines today!  Join us next week to see if, unfortunately, any of these sarcastic “predictions” turn out accurate.

[Troll comments will be deleted.]

4 Responses to “Tomorrow’s wingnut headlines today”

  1. Kathy says:

    Geez, tas, just when I was about to let you know that your calm, civil, imprecation-free series of posts recently have been noticed. 🙁

  2. tas says:

    Uhm, what? If you’re replying to the previous comment, it was BM impersonating me.

  3. Kathy says:

    I’m confused now, but I thought you were apologizing (sarcastically) for attacking right-wingers, but maybe that was the BM impersonation.

  4. tas says:

    Yeah, that was BM. I guess he wants to be known not just as an asshole, but a creative asshole.

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